Let me paint you a picture. You’re sitting at dinner with the person you love. You’re laughing quietly at inside jokes, catching up on a long day, poking fun, secretly pinching and feeding each other delicious food unceremoniously…all over the sensuously raucous din of the couple next to you. They are lip smacklingly where-did-you-learn-to-kiss?? loud in their over the top PDA and too big guffaws. Faux familiar references to things they want to do; as much for your consumption as the face sucky kissy kissy and sidelong glances to see if you saw her get up and stand behind his chair and nuzzle his neck before going to the bathroom…for FIVE minutes. Yes. Yes, you did see it. And you chucklebarfed a little bit.
Am I a hater? No, in fact I am a lover. A romantic. A fan of real life love and passion that endures. So why the stream of consciousness? So glad you asked…and that, um I knew you would ask.
The in between time on the couple above is that there were awkward moments of weird play fight and real fight tension that revealed a profound unfamiliarity and secret judgement.
‘What? You wouldn’t be willing to come to my family’s place in Long Island??
Huh? You’ve never ‘ad escargot? [he was Franche]
So why the big show? Why the making-out-with-food-in-the-mouth holding hands throughout the entire meal (think Heartbreak Kid)? Because I think we’ve allowed the sacred messiness of dating and screwing up and experimenting and being out with the wrong person until you find the right one to be subsumed one day a year by a commercially driven and socially supported set of assumptions. Headlined by one in particular:
ONE day per year, all your date are must be perfekt.
That means, no leaving early even if he’s a DB. No fake emergency call taking even if you find out she used to sleep with your dad…and gramps…at the same time. You have to make Feb 14th perfect and hyper romantic even if the real basis for that romance isn’t there.
But you know what’s romantic? Waking up on the 15th, the 25th, the 1st and any other day and saying to yourself: WOW, look at this imperfect awesome [insert diminutive word you coo for the person you love or LIKE ALOT]. This person is all mine (or will be soon when I lock them in my love shack forever). [I encourage you to lovingly and creepily stare whilst they sleep]
Romance is bringing home flowers on a day when FTD isn’t using groupon to scam you, and not just because you forgot your anniversary, or stupidly recorded over the archive of Dexter on the DVR.
These are my thoughts on what it was that irked me about the vaudevillian romance performance next to us last night, but Outkast as with most things, says and performs it way better:
Andre3000 had these great words of wisdom on Outkast track “Happy Valentine’s Day”:
Ya’ won’t believe in me, but you would fancy
leprechauns or groundhogs
No thank you, Easter Bunny!
(There’s so much fuss about Santa Claus, but see
Cupid will not be defeated!)Happy Valentine’s Day
Every day the 14th!
Now I know your hearts have grown cold
And that bothers me
Now I understand ‘cause I use to be a bad boy in my day
I know you’re trying to protect your lil’ feelings
but you can’t run away
Oooh ooh!
Take a listen, enjoy, and love well…Every friggin’ day!
